Life style question.

If anyone has any information on professions which make relationships easy, please share the material.

If anyone has any information on professions which make relationships easy, please share the material.

HA! Have you considered the priesthood?

Any small business owner will tell you, it's hard making it all work.

I think Richard (and the rest you) make a good point. Any one can get so consumed in what they do, whatever it is.... that their families/relationships fail.

Larry and Ken hit the nail on the head - "What's important to you?"
You *CAN* be successful at both, it just might take a little longer if your going to give your personal life as much attention as your professional life.

Balance. That's the key. I own a electrical contracting company, and I've lost jobs (lots) because as a general rule, I won't work evenings or weekends. My kids are little, and that only happens once, I've CHOOSEN to be available to my family during those times, it may cost me some clients, but other clients (the good ones) respect that I'm putting my relationships first, and that's who I want to work for.

Anyone read the "7 Habits of Highly Successful People" book? I keep meaning to get around to it... it's been on my desk for about 2 years now! D'oh.

Interesting thread!

I think it depends a lot on finding the right person. Hopefully Larry will drop in on this thread. He's been married quite a while and I think his relationship works for him, as it does for a lot of the animators here on the board.

Not married, so can't speak to that, but there have been times when friends didn't understand that I just needed to be left alone for awhile...while I completed something. I've winnowed out my list of friends since then and most of my friends understand now.

This topic has been covered but it has been a while. You are most like going to hear about relationships and over coming life style issues.

I've been happily married for eight years and have a beautiful little girl. Of course, I work freelance at home, so maybe that has something to do with it. But working in studios from 9am to 2am is for young people, who are generally unattached, anyway. As you get older, you start demanding more reasonable hours. I think most of the Pixar animators are happily married as well, given the sheer number of "production babies" in the credits of their films.

Hello.

Finding the right person is the key....and communication with that person.

My wife and I have always ebbed andf flowed when it came to work and family...and we have expereinced many ways to accomplish this...but it takes effort.

Originally, we were in L.A. and I was working freelance and had an offer from a studio (this was 30 years ago- pre-marriage)... our decisions are always based on REAL things like our family. If the job decision was right for the family then we did it - we NEVER voted the bottom line- money is not the source or the motivator for anything we do...ever.

Anyhow, I decided not to work at the studio- we married and moved back East- because at the time it was the best thing...for our family. My wife's job was better than mine and we wanted to start a family and settled in Fairfax County, VA. (outside D.C.) because they had the best schools.

Back then, D.C. was wasteland for animation- as in... nada- nothing- zero. But being there made me grow- I found work first as freeance, then with a company as an Animation Director, then my own company- The Animation House, Inc. and along the way started ASIFA Washington and was the first president for 8 years, etc., etc.

The point is - being in a non-animation place made me grow professionally- I had to put myself out there. When our kids came along (the first birth were twins- talk about instant family!) - we made all our decisions based on our family's needs. My wife stayed at home and I started the studio. We always made time for family- she would bring the kids down to the studio. Our kids lived in this Never-neverland of drawings and colored animation cels drying on card tables. It was great!

I thought I would miss L.A....and I did for a while. But I also found that along the way you realize what's really important- the next animation job is not important- family is important!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My wife is not an artist- quite the opposite- she was a survey statistician for the Census Bureau. We made it work because no matter how passionate I am about animation - my family is ALWAYS first.

I have had 5 couples meet in my classes or studios and have married. We are working on #6...I tell them what I tell you- family is first!

Yeah, I remember watching the bonus features on one of the Lord of the Rings trilogy and the department head saying that they had to work such long hours that it resulted in quite a few break-ups and divorces.

Remember first that this is a job, its NOT a lifestyle of its own, though some make it out to be.
If having a family and relationships is important to you then do so. The jobs will not suffer much because of that choice.

I spent years early on making the sacrifice on the wrong side of the equation.
What did it get me?
Lots of missed things with familiy and friends--things that, ultimately, I learned I didn't NEED to lose out on.
I will NOT let work take me from family now. I'll shoehorn the work in, not the family.

Look at it this way: do you want to be on your deathbed and looking over your past life thinking:" Gee.......I wish I spent more time at the studio meeting those deadlines!!"????
If the job insists on more of your time FOR THE SHORT-TERM--say less than a month, then its probably worth those long hours. If its a constant demand than I'd be telling them to go hang.
A company that keeps its talent at their desks for long periods of time-- 12-hour days or more for more than a month--doesn't give a shit about their employees, and views them as something akin to cattle. If they have a problem with getting all that work done in that period of time, then its probably the signal to hire more bodies to do the work.
Common sense applies here.

To be blunt, I think that lecturer has their head up their ass.

Hello.

Finding the right person is the key....and communication with that person.

My wife is not an artist- quite the opposite- she was a survey statistician for the Census Bureau.

I haven't known Mrs Lauria for very long but there's a little bit I remember.
One day in class, we were watching Beauty & The Beast and, having received the first cleanup & inbetween training only days before, I was making slightly disapproving comments about the cleanup quality in some of the opening scenes. (Don't you just love pupils who after their first taste of something think they know all about it?)
Anyway, Mrs Lauria was watching me with mild amusement out of the corner of her eye and then said, "They did all this for you, you know?"
It was a totally friendly reminder, there was no annoyance or disaproval in her voice, and I fell silent, my only thought being, "Huh ..."
A couple of wise guy remarks started to bud, like, "I bet the marketing department begs to differ" and so on - but there was someone who was no animation professional, yet had followed her husband all across the Atlantic ocean to remind snotty little me that, yes, somewhere at Disney Feature Animation in Burbank at least some guy in the cleanup department had worked for days in the hopes of people liking the result. And I didn't feel ashamed, I felt cheery thinking about it.
And looking back at that little incident today, somehow I can't help but thinking some guys have all the luck.

Funny, I've been jealous of the younger students who get to "live at the labs" in school and pump tons of hours into their work. They're the ones that will learn more, find a job quicker, move up the ladder at a faster pace. They also have the flexibility to pick that risky job across country. They have the energy to work 'til 4am and get up and function the next day.

Cross the relationship bridge when you get to it. I'm sure you'll find some balance in your work/school/life.