In the time-honored tradition of Ed Wood's ORGY OF THE DEAD, the Suicide Girls have combined horror with nudity. Now in no way I'm I comparing the quality of this film to that of the master of shlock's hour and a half long striptease, but only the lack of pretense in its main motive. Wood's film's mission was to show pretty women take their clothes off. That's pretty much the same here.
Directed by Suicide Girls founder Sawa Suicide (the one with the pink hair), the production is billed as the first reality show horror film. I've seen episodes of JERSEY SHORE so that might not be a completely true claim, but I digress. Sixteen Suicide Girls are taken to a remote cabin in Maine for a calendar photo shoot. Their phones and laptops are confiscated to insure that no images of the week3 are released to the public. Then Bailey Suicide goes into the woods and messes with some ancient graves and ends up missing. Soon one by one, different girls start disappearing. Who is picking them off?
For those not familiar with the world of nude modeling, the Suicide Girls are a unique brand of pin-up girls. The women's looks range from punk to goth to anywhere in between and their sizes run the gamut. Sort of the perfect cast for this kind of experiment in PUNK'D meets SLUMBER PARTY MASSACRE. Trying to decipher who is in on the premise and when is pointless. Only the Kardashians believe reality TV isn't scripted and they get the scripts.
Besides nude photo shoots, some of which are funny like Evan Suicide debating her motivation for putting her foot up on a "living" fake bear while pretending to hunt it, the film has all the prerequisites of a reality show — hot tub scene, tearful revelations, drunkenness and lots of catty in-fighting.
Once the girls start disappearing, the remaining girls sort of take sides. Amina is the hard as nails photographer who is single-mindedly focused on getting the calendar done. Her egotism in the face of horror comes off quite satirical. Rigel came along as an assistant and becomes a suspect when she gets a chance to pose after Bailey goes missing. Fractal is full of attitude and becomes a central element in the mystery. As more and more girls vanish, JoLeigh becomes the de facto leader of the girls who want to get help.
As a horror film, it doesn't work at all. Even though we're not told outright, we know it's all a joke, but the film doesn't imply that at all. Unlike CANDID CAMERA, this film doesn't put us in on the joke in the way it's presented. As a reality show, it's as compelling as any reality show can be. And in this reality show, the naughty bits don't have to be edited or pixilated.
Reviewing something like this is tough because it is what it is. It's a recorded nude model shoot combined with a reality and hidden camera show with a horror twist. Reality and hidden camera shows can be entertaining, but they're often mental dribble. This does take an interesting step above dribble because it works as a simple social experiment in seeing how the girls react to the missing girls. But because the film pretends to be "real" for so long we're robbed of the mechanism of the whole venture, which is the most interesting part. I want to know who is being manipulated and how do they react. I wanted to know if the girls taken away were the ones who started to doubt the validity of the premise, etc., etc. But then again the whole thing from start to finish could be a joke on the viewer.
Because the film isn't presented from the viewpoint of the pranksters, we are left with a weak horror film in the style of a reality show. Fans of the Suicide Girls will of course enjoy this production. Fans of nude model videos will get more than their use too. (Depending on their motives that might not be what they want.) Fans of horror should look elsewhere. I have to admit, it's entertaining in pieces as a curiosity, but in the end I felt like the "surviving" girls — f'ed with.
Buy "Suicide Girls Must Die!" Here!
Rick DeMott
Animation World Network
Creator of Rick's Flicks Picks
